Residents at Elstow Manor Care Home in Wixams, Bedford recently shared their thoughts on what makes a long and happy relationship, offering heartfelt and often humorous advice ahead of Valentine’s Day.
Eighty-eight-year-old Julia Lane summed it up with a simple piece of wisdom.
“Try not to fall out and to understand each other - or at least try to,” she said.
Julia was among several residents at the Bedford Road home reflecting on their experiences of long marriages and the qualities they believe help relationships last. Many agreed that patience, kindness and a good sense of humour can make a big difference.
Ninety-eight-year-old Alan Oates, who was married to his wife Enid for more than 70 years, shared his own rule for a happy marriage.
“Do not have a quarrel that goes beyond a day,” he said.
David Coren, aged 95, enjoyed more than 60 years with his wife Leita. Their romance began while he was serving in the air force and started with a playful conversation about her photograph.
David explained that a colleague kept a picture of Leita in his cupboard, and he joked that if they ever split up he would like her number. When he returned from leave one day, her photograph and phone number were waiting on his bunk.
He called her, invited her to meet him and his friends at the Dorchester pub, and their relationship grew from there. Over the years they travelled widely together and shared many adventures.
Ada Feiven, aged 97, met her husband Gerald when she was just 16 and the pair were married for 45 years.
She recalled how he quickly knew she was the one. During the time Gerald was stationed in Hong Kong for two years, the couple wrote letters to each other every weekday to stay connected.
For Ruth Register, aged 95, shared values were the key to a strong marriage. She was married to her husband Roy and said that although they came from different backgrounds, they shared the same family values and morals.
Jo Willis, also aged 95, said relationships require a balance of give and take. She married at 19 and enjoyed more than 40 years with her husband while they built a happy family together.
Anne Poole, aged 91, agreed that patience, understanding and affection are essential ingredients in any lasting relationship.
Their stories sparked conversation among residents, with many sharing memories of their own relationships and reflecting on the experiences that shaped their lives.